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compassion

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  Having compassion with myself has been a big struggle these past many years.  I am all about having compassion for others and for their struggles as they move through life.  But for myself, for my struggle well that is another story.  I believe that empathic people or empaths really struggle to look at what they have gone through, or what they are currently going through, and give themselves grace.  To just take a few moments and realize that they have been to hell and back and are still standing.  Even if you are crying in a big puddle on your bed you are still working through your trauma and you are still here.   Do not ever underestimate how important self compassion is.  Look at what you have had to deal with and thank yourself for still being here ready to fight through it all and finally be free.  Take a moment to place your hand on your heart and take a deep breath, as you do this really think about how incredible it is that you...
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warrior

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I have never thought of myself as a warrior, but I realize now staying in a marriage for 31 years makes me a warrior.  I wanted to be treated as a partner, not an afterthought, and fought to keep it together for my family which makes me a hell of a warrior. All those instances where I found out some very crucial bit of information long after I should have, and long after I could have done anything about it, but swallowed it all down and moved on for the sake of my family made me a warrior.  When all I wanted was an equal say, but always found out months and even years later I had no say, but stayed anyway so my family would be intact made me a warrior.  My ex husband's main form of abuse was financial, and then hidden alcohol abuse. I am sure many of you had different forms of abuse or cheating, physical, mental, financial, control, and many others. Getting over it and moving on for the sake of the family is in its own way a form of control and abuse. Of course in my s...
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where to start............

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  There are so many planned changes in life that are hard enough, but the unplanned ones make life so much harder.  It is these changes that cause us the most pain, and in turn the most growth.   I was married to a covert narcissist for 31 years and find myself just turning 60 and divorced for one year.  It has been a horrific road, one of my choosing but horrific all the same.  This blog will not be another focused reference site for narcissism and all that it entials, but rather a place to work on ways to calm, ways to find yourself again, ways to connect with your spiritual side if you so choose that, and of course ways to grow.  I feel that I have been blessed by so many people who have helped me on this continuing journey, I'd like to be there for you as well, so we can all help each other navigate the trials of deep and painful change as we move on with our lives. I am not a licensed therapist, or a life coach, just a working Occupational Therapi...
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